Life for me behind the camera has always been a Tight rope walk for me. On one side, I grew up with extremely low confidence. Growing up Transgender wasn’t the easiest route to happiness. I had a clear image of what I wanted and needed to feel complete, I just needed the right time, and I also needed to be surrounded by supportive people. On the other side, I yearned to be admired, because of my low self-esteem of already not fitting in because of gender issues. I’ve always been an observer in every aspect of my younger years onto Adulthood. The thing that I would always struggle with was being accepted for who I am. When you spend most of your time observing, because you feel lost, you miss the whole point. Fast forward to now. Everything is almost near completion in my transitioning journey, and I cannot believe how far I have come. With only a few small procedures left, I finally feel comfortable in my own skin, to show off my form of beauty.Beauty is a very vague term, especially in the eye of the beholder. I tend to find beauty in the world as a hedonist I take happiness in all forms of pleasure. Not just Exotic. Not just lewd, But in life’s simplest of pleasures. Alot of people now adays are so hung up on the 9to5 Day to day, work-home-routine, people forget to take a little time out of their day to just, slow down and breathe and take in the sights, sounds, smells of the beauty in life and to appreciate what is before them. Like, how a fresh cut, juicy Porterhouse steak taste when they take the first bite, savoring every flavor of seasoning as it hits their pallet. Or the smell of a morning after the rain. The sight of the sunset as it slowly fades below the grand horizon. The melodic of symphonies of sound from chamber music. The angelic tone of sounds that play into a part of our psyche, that if heard in the right way, in the right circumstances, can bring a flood of emotions. The tingling sensation you get when you hear that right frequency to a really good song. The sight and scent of a beautiful woman. All of this, is worth taking a breath for. With that being stated. I also take beauty in elegance. The way words are spoke. Linguistics is a turn on for me. The way words and phrases are conveyed, given the right contest, in the right setting can be very erotic. The enunciation of certain words can come off with seductive undertones and meaning, which can be VERY enticing. I just love the way words have a direct response to people. The look on their faces when caught off guard when the hint or word play is noticed. Its Priceless. Sometimes, just the sight of getting the person turned on to the point of them squirming and trying to maintain themselves, turns me on. To know that i can have that reaction from someone, fills me with such excruciating confidence. A confidence that I am beautiful enough to turn a few heads
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